A Lady Bouncer
And a psychologist to boot!
While shopping yesterday, Melinda and I wandered into a bar for lunch. Peanut Butter, Bacon, and Grilled Onion burger for me, Turkey, Bacon, and Swiss sandwich for her. A perfect repast.
But, alas, there was a weirdo in the place.
Great big guy, early 20’s. He sat down at our table. Tried to convince Melinda that she should go to his evangelical church. She was raised protestant, so can probably talk such craziness, but for me, raised Catholic, if the guy isn’t a Priest who spent a lot of years in seminary and has an eye for little boys, well, I just can’t figure he’s legit.
My nonsense aside, the dude clearly wasn’t quite right in the head, and I imagine that his morning drinking didn’t help matters any.
The bartender wanders over. A small, slight woman. The only employee in the place. She uses her pen to tap on his shoulder. He looks at her.
“Get up.” She says, motioning with her arms.
He looks at her, but doesn’t move.
“Don’t you remember me throwing you out of here last night?” She asks.
That got him up.
He follows her a step or two.
“Let’s go outside and talk.” She says.
They spend a few minutes together out back. I presume she’s explaining to him how one must act around others. She comes back in alone, but Melinda tells me that he’s staying in place out the back door. We imagine that he’s contemplating the advice the bartender gave.
Eventually he returns, sits a few stools from anyone else at the bar.
In a way, I feel kind of sorry for the dude. Obviously he’s lonely and needs someone to talk with. On the other hand, the bar can’t have a guy running their customers off.
We enjoy our lunch, and while we do, a regular walks in with his chocolate lab. As always man and dog sit at the bar, the lab in the guy’s lap. Time passes, and I notice the weird fellow take up his drink and wander over to sit next to the guy with the lab.
“You’re doing it again.” I hear the bartender warn.
Looking for more?
Everything I wrote last week is up on my LinkTree.
Sounds like she had his number!
When you work with, or on the public in a service-oriented business, you learn really quick how to do this, or your business will fail, or if you’re an employee, you’ll get canned. And it’s something you can’t teach in the trade school. It’s totally about hard knocks, and 1995 and 1996 were full of them for me. But I learned.
“Great big guy, early 20’s. He sat down at our table. Tried to convince Melinda that she should go to his evangelical church.” We’ve had our share of Bible thumpers in our shop. They’re the tough ones to move along, as you don’t want to disagree with them, if you are of the same general belief system. So we usually move them along by directing our attention to other customers, informing the evangelist that we have work we must tend to so we can “Pay the bills.” As this is in religious teaching, they won’t argue with it, and they’ll bless us and continue on their way.
Now, with door-to-door sales people, they can be much more difficult. Most move on with a thank you, but some insist. “I see a spot in your shop where we can put a candy machine…” NO! “But there’s no reason why you can’t…” Yes, there is. LEAVE. “But…” And NOW I’m angry. I’ve threatened to call Law enforcement on some solicitors.
Now HERE’s a weird one. Back in the summer of 2004. This young guy was from the Belltown neighborhood, and his mannerisms and attitude reflected that of a big city “ ‘hood.” He talked like one of the “Sweathogs” on Welcome Back Kotter. And he was a fussy, whiny kid who bitched about how bad I cut his hair, but every two weeks, he’d be back. The customers would be appalled about how much shit I took from this kid, but I also didn’t want to run anyone off by being heavy-handed. This persisted until later in the summer when another business owner informed me that the Customer is NOT always right, and while a boss can fire an employee and a customer can quit patronizing a business, the reverse is also true, in that it’s perfectly fine to “fire” a customer. I don’t need the stress and the insults caused by one persistent person. So the next time the kid came back, I cut his hair and once again he bitched about it. When he said I made him look like SpongeBob Squarepants, I launched on him. I told him I would make him a deal. No charge for the haircut, under one condition – he never stepped back in this shop again. You should have seen the look on his face. He didn’t want to be a cheat, and I replied, okay, you can pay for the haircut, but the second part remains. He was still angry that I was throwing him out. He refused to leave! As we argued, I came to realize that he didn’t want me to stop cutting his hair! The only way I could make him leave is that I would “think about it.” It was enough to get him out of the shop, but the other customers were completely confused by what they saw. One of them said it was like I was breaking up with a bad girlfriend, and the others eerily agreed. I just hoped it was enough to make him reconsider coming back.
And for almost the rest of the year, I was right. But on December 23 of that year, I caught tonsilitis and stayed home. I came back the next day, and Nick said your Belltown buddy was back, wondering where you were. Yeah, that was a Christmas Present from hell. Christmas came, and the following Monday, a customer that looked just like the kid, only with brown eyes, came in and got a haircut. When he left, I said I’m in the clear, and Nick said, “Nice try. That wasn’t him. You NEVER forget the assholes.”
Another month passed, and on a Saturday at the end of January, we were closing, brought the sign in when the kid showed up with a woman dressed in a big-city manner. I told him did you see the sign, and he said he didn’t care. I asked him why he was here. He stood befuddled, then said he’s here because we’re cheap. I said, “No… why HERE.” Pointing down at our room. He said “so you don’t want to cut my hair?” I shook my head. No. And he stomped out, and I quote: “Fucking coward! Pussy!” The woman laughed as she followed him out. They got in their vehicle and sped off. It was quiet in the shop for a few moments. Then I said with a grin on my face, “What just happened?” “Nick responded, “Simple. You got rid of an asshole.” I will tell you, it made my day. I never saw him again.
Then, there were the two fights we had in the shop between customers. One was funny, and one was quite serious. But I’m almost 900 words into this comment!