Algebra
Things I didn't learn on the farm
If you’ve been reading here for awhile, you know that I’ve been writing about our family’s upcoming cowboy themed wedding on the dude ranch in Montana. And you may have caught the fact that us few men are going to need to wear big silver rodeo style belt buckles in defense of the poor groom.
Well, way back when I was a kid, I learned something about those huge belt buckles:
If you ain’t careful, and you get one too big, well the top of that thing will rise above your waist and cut into your guts whenever you sit down.
Heck, I had that happen to me as a kid, and I was skinny as hell back then!
Now of course I’ve got the beer belly that I’ve been carefully nurturing for a great many years.
Compounding the problem.
So, a buckle has to be chosen with care. It has to be big and gaudy enough to properly show support for the groom’s cowboy fashion choices, but not so big that it cuts into one’s guts.
I’ve got to figure that there is an algebraic formula for figuring all of this out. If only I’d paid more attention to mathematics in school, instead of spending all my time chewing that Copenhagen tobacco.
On the one hand, each Coors Banquet one drinks makes the belly larger, and hence the buckle needs to be smaller. Particularly if there is a nice shooter of Jim Beam to go along with that Coors.
So in theory, less Coors (and Jim Beam) will allow a fellow to comfortably wear a larger buckle.
See, this is what the big city folks call an ‘inverse relationship.’
And I’ve got to find the right mathematical formula for figuring out this inverse relationship, lest Messrs. Beam and Coors make me outgrow my belt buckle. And I’ve got to find it fast, because the cowboy wedding is coming up quick!
Alas though, I can’t seem to figure it out.
If only I’d taken school more seriously.
In deep need of some more from me? Everything I wrote last week can be found here.
The irony in all this is that when I was learning Algebra I was told that "what you do to to to one side, you have to do to the other. When I was looking into philosophy I have consistently come across variations of the mantra "Balance in everything, everything in balance." All of this to say... I think you might be on to something here... mayhaps a trip to the national archives are in order and we can do the western version of National Treasurer with a cowboy noire vibe?
Differential Equations, Probability, and "Statistics" were other "almost unusable" Math Courses?