Planning significantly assists those later who complete the work. Do you want all your ashes in one place? Can family members keep some of your ashes? Letting family know what to do helps when there is grieving.
Indeed you are right. Having dealt with these sad occasions in the past, it is much easier when the person made their specific wishes known prior to their passing.
My dad was a diabetic, and decided that cremation was best. As WVMGL 1968 Grand Master, I was shocked that he chose Cremation (but he knew that his cremains and my mother's cremains could be buried in the same plot)! The cremains ashes of my wife's parents were distributed on Spruce Knob (highest point in West Virginia)!
If we want to go into my family's plot, we have to be cremated, as there is no more room for burials within it. But I think I'm probably more of a scatter them kind of guy.
Intriguing how we go from being fascinated at learning about life and death, to fearing it. To eventually having to face it. Then hopefully, after a life well lived, welcoming it as an old friend who you haven’t seen in far too long.
Perhaps we can create a healthier relationship around our understanding of the cycles of life. I wonder how our society might benefit from the contemplation of mortality.
It is said that we can learn a great deal from travel.
And I think that is true, if we are willing to get out of the fancy hotel or resort so that we can experience a place more like how the people who live there do.
Over the decades I've traveled extensively through Mexico, in ways that virtually no tourists would ever do. That's exposed me, at least some, to a different way of looking at death than the way I think most Americans look at it. Honestly, a better way.
That better, more human, less clinical way of looking at death is one of the things I've learned through travel.
At some point I intend to make it down there to experience that. It sounds like quite the experience and I think we are long overdue for some travel...
Wonderful! Once we sort out the Lodging thing we have been discussing a vacation, we may have to take you up on that. No worries, we drink out of the bottle or can unless required. I even manage to keep my pinky finger down when imbibing most days... 😉
Honestly hearing the stories you and the others have shared I would love the chance to experience ritual in Spanish and eventually Portugese if I can make it back to Brazil some day. I wonder how one might acquire some practice materials in preparation for a visit...
When my aunt (his older sister) passed away a couple years ago, she was cremated, and the family were to dump her ashes off the SR-505 Bridge over the Cowlitz river in Toledo (not far from where she lived.) Pretty cool idea and very appropriate, as she lived most of her life in the Toledo area and her two sons graduated from Toledo high school. Turns out she also cremated three of her Yorkshire Terriers over the years as well, (fun side story is the oldest of these dogs was alive when I was a teenager, and I “introduced” our cat to the dog, and our little lady didn’t recognize her as a dog and sniffed her out as an anomaly when the dog barked, scaring the hell out the cat and tearing me up in the process!) But anyway, ashes of three dogs as well. The family considered dumping Aunt Marie in the middle and the three dogs in the middle and the two ends of the Bridge, but then they all agreed to mix all the ashes, figuring Aunt Marie would want it that way. I believe that, and it was a good idea – in theory. The wind proved otherwise, and Dad said while most of the ashes did indeed land in the Cowlitz river, a significant percentage of it wound up on THEM. Once again, somewhat appropriate, given Aunt Marie’s quirky personality!
We buried the ashes of Melinda's grandmother's favorite dog with her. Per her wishes. So I can certainly understand that.
I can understand the wind too. As a youngster I climbed up to the summit of Mt. Rainier with a handful of men from Chelan. One of the men had his father's ashes with him to sprinkle up there. I remember it being so windy up on top that you had to fight the wind in order to stand straight. Anyway, the ashes got sprinkled, but not easily!
I've got to get the paperwork squared away, but as part of our plan to 'pay it forward,' we've agreed to donate our bodies to the second campus of my medical alma mater for the gross anatomy lab, with our cremains interred together in my family plot in Omaha. Note that these will be mixed cremains from all of the donors in a given class year.
I'm planning to send a portion of hers to her granddaughter, her only family member that might give a damn about the idea, to allow her to decide if those go to her family plot in IL or not.
the cremains of several of her favorite pooches from over the years will be included with hers at interment.
I've already had that discussion with my family's parish priest, and he agreed with me that he would provide services when the time comes - he's held that Parish for over 20 years now, and he's young enough he'll still be there after I go.
When I was young I thought it would be important to be buried in a nice place with a big headstone, the whole deal.
As I've gotten older, I've decided that makes no sense at all. The younger generations move on with their lives, and we aren't better remembered because we have a big stone. I've decided that the simplest is probably the best.
Planning significantly assists those later who complete the work. Do you want all your ashes in one place? Can family members keep some of your ashes? Letting family know what to do helps when there is grieving.
Indeed you are right. Having dealt with these sad occasions in the past, it is much easier when the person made their specific wishes known prior to their passing.
My dad was a diabetic, and decided that cremation was best. As WVMGL 1968 Grand Master, I was shocked that he chose Cremation (but he knew that his cremains and my mother's cremains could be buried in the same plot)! The cremains ashes of my wife's parents were distributed on Spruce Knob (highest point in West Virginia)!
If we want to go into my family's plot, we have to be cremated, as there is no more room for burials within it. But I think I'm probably more of a scatter them kind of guy.
Intriguing how we go from being fascinated at learning about life and death, to fearing it. To eventually having to face it. Then hopefully, after a life well lived, welcoming it as an old friend who you haven’t seen in far too long.
Perhaps we can create a healthier relationship around our understanding of the cycles of life. I wonder how our society might benefit from the contemplation of mortality.
It is said that we can learn a great deal from travel.
And I think that is true, if we are willing to get out of the fancy hotel or resort so that we can experience a place more like how the people who live there do.
Over the decades I've traveled extensively through Mexico, in ways that virtually no tourists would ever do. That's exposed me, at least some, to a different way of looking at death than the way I think most Americans look at it. Honestly, a better way.
That better, more human, less clinical way of looking at death is one of the things I've learned through travel.
At some point I intend to make it down there to experience that. It sounds like quite the experience and I think we are long overdue for some travel...
You're always welcome to tag along with us sometime. The only warning is, we don't travel fancy!
Wonderful! Once we sort out the Lodging thing we have been discussing a vacation, we may have to take you up on that. No worries, we drink out of the bottle or can unless required. I even manage to keep my pinky finger down when imbibing most days... 😉
Honestly hearing the stories you and the others have shared I would love the chance to experience ritual in Spanish and eventually Portugese if I can make it back to Brazil some day. I wonder how one might acquire some practice materials in preparation for a visit...
Ah, a wee bit of Duolingo works wonders!
Fun story that my Dad told me last week.
When my aunt (his older sister) passed away a couple years ago, she was cremated, and the family were to dump her ashes off the SR-505 Bridge over the Cowlitz river in Toledo (not far from where she lived.) Pretty cool idea and very appropriate, as she lived most of her life in the Toledo area and her two sons graduated from Toledo high school. Turns out she also cremated three of her Yorkshire Terriers over the years as well, (fun side story is the oldest of these dogs was alive when I was a teenager, and I “introduced” our cat to the dog, and our little lady didn’t recognize her as a dog and sniffed her out as an anomaly when the dog barked, scaring the hell out the cat and tearing me up in the process!) But anyway, ashes of three dogs as well. The family considered dumping Aunt Marie in the middle and the three dogs in the middle and the two ends of the Bridge, but then they all agreed to mix all the ashes, figuring Aunt Marie would want it that way. I believe that, and it was a good idea – in theory. The wind proved otherwise, and Dad said while most of the ashes did indeed land in the Cowlitz river, a significant percentage of it wound up on THEM. Once again, somewhat appropriate, given Aunt Marie’s quirky personality!
We buried the ashes of Melinda's grandmother's favorite dog with her. Per her wishes. So I can certainly understand that.
I can understand the wind too. As a youngster I climbed up to the summit of Mt. Rainier with a handful of men from Chelan. One of the men had his father's ashes with him to sprinkle up there. I remember it being so windy up on top that you had to fight the wind in order to stand straight. Anyway, the ashes got sprinkled, but not easily!
I've got to get the paperwork squared away, but as part of our plan to 'pay it forward,' we've agreed to donate our bodies to the second campus of my medical alma mater for the gross anatomy lab, with our cremains interred together in my family plot in Omaha. Note that these will be mixed cremains from all of the donors in a given class year.
I'm planning to send a portion of hers to her granddaughter, her only family member that might give a damn about the idea, to allow her to decide if those go to her family plot in IL or not.
the cremains of several of her favorite pooches from over the years will be included with hers at interment.
I've already had that discussion with my family's parish priest, and he agreed with me that he would provide services when the time comes - he's held that Parish for over 20 years now, and he's young enough he'll still be there after I go.
When I was young I thought it would be important to be buried in a nice place with a big headstone, the whole deal.
As I've gotten older, I've decided that makes no sense at all. The younger generations move on with their lives, and we aren't better remembered because we have a big stone. I've decided that the simplest is probably the best.