So, the first shakedown camping trip of the season is coming up in days…
REI has promised to have my profane campfire (thanks SB) here in time…
So…
The time has come to make the biggest decision of all!
What hat to wear, while camping.
I fear that I’m paralyzed by indecision. There are just too many choices.
-A stiff, fur felt by Australia’s Akubra?
Undoubtedly weather wise, the Akubra is the best choice. It’ll keep one warm in the cold, dry in the rain, and the sun off one’s neck. But Akubra’s are stiff hats, sort of outback sort of cowboy. Does such a hat look appropriate for the woods? I fear not. It just isn’t an appropriate looking choice, no matter how effective it might be.
-A stiff, fur felt by Stetson, in the style of a Park Ranger with its Montana Peak and flat brim?
Another really solid choice, for the same reasons as the Akubra. Mine is from many years ago, when I was a Scoutmaster. An excellent hat, and an appropriate look for the woods, but does one want to be mistaken for a Park Ranger? I fear that it’ll have to remain in the closet.
-A leather outback hat from Australia?
It would look damn good in the woods. Nice and strong too. But leather hats are hot in good weather, and cold in bad. Really cold in the rain. The look would be on point, but the impracticality in changing weather conditions seems to put such a hat out of the running.
-A classic Filson Packer hat in waxed canvas?
The Packer is the traditional choice for the woods here in Western Washington. It looks good, keeps the rain (fairly well) off one’s head and the sun out of one’s eyes. Plus, both the tan and green would be solid choices. But, the waxed canvas doesn’t breathe very well, and my bald head tends to sweat. And, if it does happen to waterlog despite all the wax, it would get cold and be really hard to dry. A contender for sure, but is it the very best choice?
-A soft wool felt Effanem Crusher?
These are the hats that all men seemed to wear while camping and hunting when I was a kid. They were sold cheap seemingly everywhere, and lived atop countless heads. One never sees them in the wild now days, but the nostalgia and memories are very strong. Warm enough, being wool, but with virtually no resistance to rain. Not a good thing, although the wool will still insulate when wet, something leather and cotton can’t do. A fine hat for the woods. But more the dry woods than the wet woods.
With no perfect option, I think, as of today anyway, the Effanem has to be my choice.
But, what color?
I’ve got black, and red, and green.
Now the black is clearly out, one can’t be wearing a black hat in the woods. Red is the color from my childhood. The color that everyone wore. (Before the gov’ment declared that everyone had to wear orange instead of red while hunting. Effanem does make orange ones too now, but me, I refuse. It’s a give me a red hat or give me death kind of thing I guess.) Red is traditional, and looks right in the woods. But the green is a real standout too, and probably looks better against the trees. What to do?
I decided on the green. But, who knows, I might change my mind and grab the red. Or the Filson. Who knows what one might do when faced with so many choices?
And then, to top it all off, there is a complication thrown into the mix.
While minding my own business yesterday, I see that Johnson Woollen Mills is now offering the ugliest damn outdoor hat I’ve ever seen. Green and black buffalo check material, in a crusher style hat! I showed it to Mrs. Bailey, she forbade me ever getting one, but I think I need it!
Could it get here before I leave?
MWB, I worry that this much over exposure to hats, and the Carbontetracloride used in the making there of has damaged your mind.
Okay, fine. This time I can’t propose a stocking cap, because it’s too hot right now to wear one.
But I was going to propose a little-boy hat in a loud Blaze orange/camouflage cap. Very common, and the archery hunters wear them extensively, likely due to the archery season being earlier (and hence warmer) than the rifle seasons. Interestingly, despite the purpose of the Blaze orange being loud to the human eye, you can actually blend in well with the camouflage breakup if you sit down at the bottom of a Maple tree stump with a few years of shoots with leaves in late October. As the deer don’t pick up the longer visible wavelengths as well as they do the shorter ones, if you don’t move weird, they’re not going to see you if you’re buried among the orange and yellow leaves of the Maple tree. But the bottom line is you won’t look out of place with one of these hats.
Also to be fair, I was mulling over grabbing my red Effanem crusher as well before I got further into reading this article. Either that or the brown one. Not sure at this time.