We live on in the memories we help to create, for better or worse. I imagine your Father would be proud to know he is still considered often and fondly, enough so to enable you to forget it for a moment.
I think if each of us aspires to that level of positive impact in the lives of those us around us we are likely to achieve the same.
I really appreciate the way your post highlights the responsibilities we have to those who came before, and those yet to come.
“My own father was involved, not only in raising me, but with my friends, at least a couple of whom were saddled with very poor conditions in their homes. How much impact did he have on their lives while serving as a positive role model, and helping as best he could?”
As you know, I never married or fathered children. That being said, that doesn’t mean I haven’t had any influence in the lives of those younger than me. How much impact? I will never know; in fact, none of us really know, as even the “student” that learned from us may not realize the lesson they learned from us until months or even years later, and by that time, the moment of the lesson is lost to time.
But on the other hand, I once saw a comment on a post on social media under the “Art of Manliness” posts, where the commenter proclaimed, “I’m retired, and I can do whatever the f!ck I want!!!” and that comment actually got (at the time I saw it) about 350 likes. That angered me to no end, but no, I didn’t respond. You can’t respond to someone who comments like that. They’re too caught up in themselves to realize that there are young, impressionable children and adults who are looking up to them as older citizens to emulate. Fortunately my Grandfather didn’t act like that. We should always remember that there are people who are watching us, looking up to us, learning from us, even when we don’t realize they’re in our presence.
“Not often, but more than once, I’ve heard men brag about children that they had sired, but didn’t know. That’s nothing to be proud of, rather such men should be ashamed, and if there isn’t, there should be a little corner of hell reserved just for them.” Agreed. There was at least one instance where someone we know did locate and establish a relationship with a son who was a result of one of many escapades he had in the past. And even personally, I “gained” an uncle in the mid-1990’s who was able to relocate his brothers after having been given up for adoption back in the early 1940’s. He recently passed, but even my Mother noted that the “new” uncle looked more like my father than the uncle I knew all my life. We could say that a child given up for adoption isn’t quite the same as a “slam-bam-thank you ma’am”, but it depends on the era. Teen pregnancies were handled much differently back in the day than they were even 35 years ago, for example. But overall, bottom line is the “body count,” as they like to call it, is NOT a badge of honor or something to brag about.
Something I remember about being ever guarded and watchful over my Thoughts, Words, and Actions, particularly when in the presence of the general public, ever bearing in mind two key virtues. Silence and Circumspection.
We all have, I think, roll models and mentors in life. People we look up to and try to emulate. Sometimes we might realize we are doing this, sometimes not. But in most cases, our chosen role model won't know that we are looking to them in that way.
I do think that when the baby boomer generation became ascendent a profound selfishness took over in our society. Not with everyone of course, but the drive for service certainly declined on a really drastic scale. That's why traditional service clubs are suffering so badly in this country now. I think that's changing though, I think that the younger generations are looking beyond their individual selves more. I hope so anyway.
I agree, adoption does not equate to abandonment. One is doing what may well be best for the child, the other is a declaiming of any responsibility towards that child.
We live on in the memories we help to create, for better or worse. I imagine your Father would be proud to know he is still considered often and fondly, enough so to enable you to forget it for a moment.
I think if each of us aspires to that level of positive impact in the lives of those us around us we are likely to achieve the same.
I really appreciate the way your post highlights the responsibilities we have to those who came before, and those yet to come.
Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.
“My own father was involved, not only in raising me, but with my friends, at least a couple of whom were saddled with very poor conditions in their homes. How much impact did he have on their lives while serving as a positive role model, and helping as best he could?”
As you know, I never married or fathered children. That being said, that doesn’t mean I haven’t had any influence in the lives of those younger than me. How much impact? I will never know; in fact, none of us really know, as even the “student” that learned from us may not realize the lesson they learned from us until months or even years later, and by that time, the moment of the lesson is lost to time.
But on the other hand, I once saw a comment on a post on social media under the “Art of Manliness” posts, where the commenter proclaimed, “I’m retired, and I can do whatever the f!ck I want!!!” and that comment actually got (at the time I saw it) about 350 likes. That angered me to no end, but no, I didn’t respond. You can’t respond to someone who comments like that. They’re too caught up in themselves to realize that there are young, impressionable children and adults who are looking up to them as older citizens to emulate. Fortunately my Grandfather didn’t act like that. We should always remember that there are people who are watching us, looking up to us, learning from us, even when we don’t realize they’re in our presence.
“Not often, but more than once, I’ve heard men brag about children that they had sired, but didn’t know. That’s nothing to be proud of, rather such men should be ashamed, and if there isn’t, there should be a little corner of hell reserved just for them.” Agreed. There was at least one instance where someone we know did locate and establish a relationship with a son who was a result of one of many escapades he had in the past. And even personally, I “gained” an uncle in the mid-1990’s who was able to relocate his brothers after having been given up for adoption back in the early 1940’s. He recently passed, but even my Mother noted that the “new” uncle looked more like my father than the uncle I knew all my life. We could say that a child given up for adoption isn’t quite the same as a “slam-bam-thank you ma’am”, but it depends on the era. Teen pregnancies were handled much differently back in the day than they were even 35 years ago, for example. But overall, bottom line is the “body count,” as they like to call it, is NOT a badge of honor or something to brag about.
Something I remember about being ever guarded and watchful over my Thoughts, Words, and Actions, particularly when in the presence of the general public, ever bearing in mind two key virtues. Silence and Circumspection.
Your points are well taken.
We all have, I think, roll models and mentors in life. People we look up to and try to emulate. Sometimes we might realize we are doing this, sometimes not. But in most cases, our chosen role model won't know that we are looking to them in that way.
I do think that when the baby boomer generation became ascendent a profound selfishness took over in our society. Not with everyone of course, but the drive for service certainly declined on a really drastic scale. That's why traditional service clubs are suffering so badly in this country now. I think that's changing though, I think that the younger generations are looking beyond their individual selves more. I hope so anyway.
I agree, adoption does not equate to abandonment. One is doing what may well be best for the child, the other is a declaiming of any responsibility towards that child.