Little Boy Hats
And The Western Show
I’ve been wrestling with a quandary for a number of weeks now.
You see, my very good friend Clayton is a man without proper taste in hats. When the weather is good he wears ball caps, in all their many forms. When the weather is bad he wears stocking caps. Either way, regardless of weather, he’s wearing some sort of little boy hat.
I’ve tried, for years, to get the little feller to grow up. I’ve suggested he try the waxed canvas hats from Filson worn by generations of loggers here where we live. I’ve suggested that he try a good felt cowboy hat. I’ve suggested that he try an Effanem Crusher hat as worn by hunters here since time immemorial. I’ve even suggested that he try a wool hat from Ireland or two, either Walking or Flat style.
Alas, no. He’s a really stubborn fellow.
He refuses to wear anything other than a hat designed for children.
But, here’s my quandary.
And it’s a really big quandary.
Some weeks ago I saw a ball cap type thing that really spoke to me.
You see, when I was a young man, I wore a lot of ball caps. Never stocking caps, I was never as far gone as my friend Clayton, but nevertheless, I was hooked on ball caps like so many other little boys.
And in the early 1990’s, corduroy ball caps became popular. I had some embroidered for my business, and those remain the most awesome ball caps I ever owned. I don’t think the corduroy trend lasted very long, but I’ve still got a couple of those down in the basement somewhere.
So, I’m wandering through the local western store some time ago, and there it was on the shelf.
A corduroy ball cap.
Better yet, a corduroy ball cap that read:
The Western Show
Pretending To Be Cowboys
Since 2014
Has an embroidered horse on it too!
Could there be anything more perfect?
Other than the fact that it’s a hat made for little boys?
I longed for the hat, but alas, it had to stay on the shelf. Fifty something grown ass men should wear real hats developed for men, not give in to the whole modern, urban, decadence thing.
But it kept weighing on my mind.
There’s been no sleep here for weeks, for the devil of consumerism was urging me to snag The Western Show hat day and night.
And after all, we have the pretend cowboy wedding coming up on the Montana dude ranch soon. Doesn’t one need a Pretending To Be Cowboys hat for wearing while pretending to be a cowboy on a dude ranch?
Of course the quandary grows when one considers how much grief one will receive when Clayton sees one wearing a little boy hat of one’s own.
I held out as long as I could.
I just couldn’t take it anymore.
The lure was simply too powerful for me to resist.
I went and got me The Western Show hat today.
I fear that I am lost.
If you want an awesome The Western Show hat, you can snag one online from Sendero Provisions Co. I’ve got to say the All Hat No Cattle Company hat looks pretty cool too!
If you want to read more of my rambling words, I’ve got some recent favorites collected here.
“I’ve suggested he try the waxed canvas hats from Filson worn by generations of loggers here where we live. I’ve suggested that he try a good felt cowboy hat. I’ve suggested that he try an Effanem Crusher hat as worn by hunters here since time immemorial. I’ve even suggested that he try a wool hat from Ireland or two, either Walking or Flat style.”
Okay. Cowboy hat – I have a couple, and I’ve worn them, only to get laughed out of the room by our Past Grand Secretary. But others say it works, and indeed, the last time I presided over Centralia Lodge (as you recall) I wore one.
Effanem Crusher hat – As you well know, I have a couple of them, one in Brown and at least one in red. And I wore it to the Logger’s degree. Problem is it’s too small, and I look like the logger version of Gilligan on “Gilligan’s Island.”
Irish Walking hat – my Grandfather had one, and I tried it on. My Brother said it makes me look like an Old Bastard, take it off. I looked in the mirror, and he was right. I hadn’t worn one since. Flat hat? I love them, but so many wear one, it’s almost as common as the baseball cap. And with my big, bald, fat head, when I do wear one, I look like Jamie Hyneman, the Mythbuster. Loved the show, but I’m not the Mythbuster… well, for the longest time, the idea of Cameron wearing a ballcap was a myth, and that was busted… 🤔
There is nothing wrong with letting the little boy in us come out now and again. It helps keep us young and can give us a different perspective on grown up life. 🧢