“I’ve suggested he try the waxed canvas hats from Filson worn by generations of loggers here where we live. I’ve suggested that he try a good felt cowboy hat. I’ve suggested that he try an Effanem Crusher hat as worn by hunters here since time immemorial. I’ve even suggested that he try a wool hat from Ireland or two, either Walking or Flat style.”
Okay. Cowboy hat – I have a couple, and I’ve worn them, only to get laughed out of the room by our Past Grand Secretary. But others say it works, and indeed, the last time I presided over Centralia Lodge (as you recall) I wore one.
Effanem Crusher hat – As you well know, I have a couple of them, one in Brown and at least one in red. And I wore it to the Logger’s degree. Problem is it’s too small, and I look like the logger version of Gilligan on “Gilligan’s Island.”
Irish Walking hat – my Grandfather had one, and I tried it on. My Brother said it makes me look like an Old Bastard, take it off. I looked in the mirror, and he was right. I hadn’t worn one since. Flat hat? I love them, but so many wear one, it’s almost as common as the baseball cap. And with my big, bald, fat head, when I do wear one, I look like Jamie Hyneman, the Mythbuster. Loved the show, but I’m not the Mythbuster… well, for the longest time, the idea of Cameron wearing a ballcap was a myth, and that was busted… 🤔
You can't trust the opinion of the Past GS. He sets his own cowboy hat down on the brim instead of the crown, something no self respecting cowboy hat wearer would ever do!
"He sets his own cowboy hat down on the brim instead of the crown, something no self respecting cowboy hat wearer would ever do!"
That's what I learned from a handful of people as a kid. putting gravity on the brim misshapes it, and the Crown is meant to be handled in such a manner. Okay, then I learned correctly as a kid.
There is nothing wrong with letting the little boy in us come out now and again. It helps keep us young and can give us a different perspective on grown up life. 🧢
MWB Bailey, I think perhaps that hat was just calling out to you, given the amount of consternation and will you clearly exerted to avoid this temptation.
I find when the universe speaks it is often best not to argue. Besides, who are we to deny the will of things above our understanding... 😉
Now to find some more wild patterned shirts that match with my flavor of fun... 🤣
No, no, no, one can not leave the brim of a ball cap flat as a pancake if one is to be a genuine hick. Those super flat brims are for those urban weirdos, who vote for commies. Out here in 'Merica we curve the brim.
Remember MWB... Perfection is to be ever aspired, yet never attained! Therefore I think it is safe to assume this is a lifelong journey and burden you will have to learn to willingly bear. I have faith that you are more than up to the task! 🚂🧢
"Hats off" to Bro. Chad for tipping me off on this post. I didn't know about it until he mentioned the name drop last night. That was a close one, Bro. Bailey, but once again, the real hats win out!
I think that the fundamental key to leading a good life is making the reading of all of CMBailey's nonsense one's top daily priority. I can't imagine anything else that could ever be more important.
As I've mentioned several times, I'm not much of a hat person. I never think they really look that good one me. And in the military, whenever you were outside you better have a hat on. At least in the Air Force we were allowed to wear baseball caps with our unit designation instead of the regulation caps we were issued.
But after retiring from the military, I stopped wearing hats pretty much altogether. It wasn't until I joined Masonry that I had to consider investing in a hat to wear. And it started with a porkpie hat ala Heisenberg, and has devolved into a small collection of different hats in different styles. But not one would be a ball cap.
On July 19th I'll be joining a group of brothers from a neighboring lodge to attend a Tacoma Rainiers baseball game, and part of the package is a free R baseball cap. So it will be part of the collection, although I'm not a fan of the beer. My dad was a die hard Olympia fan, he called Rainier beer "cat piss". He was crushed when Oly went bankrupt and taken over by Pabst. Almost impossible to find Oly in these parts, if at all. But in solidarity with my dad (I even named my dog Oly when I was a teen) I've never taken a single sip of Rainier. So, I'll probably wear that hat at the game, and that's about it.
“…I'll be joining a group of brothers from a neighboring lodge to attend a Tacoma Rainiers baseball game, and part of the package is a free R baseball cap. So it will be part of the collection…” Harmony Lodge No. 18 did that last year, and I tagged along with them. Same here, it’s part of my collection, as it doesn’t fit my fat head. I got a second one for my uncle, who’s a big baseball fan.
“…he called Rainier beer "cat piss".” Now, I never have ingested cat urine, but I’ve cleaned my share of litter boxes over the years… okay, Rainier isn’t THAT bad, and I will admit it’s distinctive, but compared to most beers, it IS cat piss.
I love me some of that fine Rainier beer! Or at least I did when it was made locally. Liked Olympia too. Of course I've never had what one would consider to be good taste in beer. Currently I've decided that I'm a Coors man, because of the squat shaped bottles they are using now. Reminds me of my beloved Rhinelander from those days when I was too young to legally drink!
I wear no hats, but there's nothing obvious about the beanie cap and baseball cap that make them only for children. They are practical (to keep one's head warm or to keep the sun from one's eyes) while minimalist in their form (for when you don't need a whole brim). Baseball caps originated from a sport played by adult men, and beanies seem to have always been around for cold weather (being smaller forms of the longer caps with poof balls on the end).
My home Lodge still possesses our very first Master's Top Hat. He was a pretty important guy locally, so they have preserved it under glass. Once a year it comes out for the Installation, when the new Master wears it.
That's all to the good, except for the fact that our first WM had what must be the world's smallest head. So in actuality, during the Installation the new WM must balance this tiny top hat atop his head, instead of actually wearing it!
On the more serious note you post this, there are two key downfalls of this hat:
One, they don't work well if your head shape is too oblong (oval) like mine. or if your hat size is over 7 3/8. As such, I have a lot of these hats, but few actually fit correctly.
Also, the shape of the hat doesn't protect the ears from UV rays. I know of many people who have developed skin cancers because of that. Particularly on the left ear (truck drivers, as that ear is more exposed to the sun than the right ear.) In two cases, the cancer developed into a malignant melanoma. Both of these two survived due to early detection (I helped with one of them, quite an honor to have helped save someone's life.) So if you're in the sun and are wearing a ballcap, make sure to put sunscreen on your ears.
Now of course hats are made to accommodate the 'Long Oval' shape, and are marked as such in the sizing. All my western hats are 'Long Oval.' But, you are right, the larger size you need can be hard to find.
As long as we are on a serious note, the cancer risk you mention is why I try (although they can be a pain in the ass) to wear only hats with large full brims. As you know, my skin is very fair, and it doesn't tan. I'm either (as I heard my mother's handyman in Mexico say once) so white that I'm blue, or badly sunburned, there is nothing in the middle. My grandfather was the same way, and always wore ball caps to keep the sun out of his eyes. That did nothing for cancer prevention, and I watched for at least a couple of decades while doctors kept carving big chunks of skin off his head.
So yeah, cancer is a serious concern, and a large full brimmed hat can do a lot to help prevent it.
There are ballcaps with flaps to cover the ears and back of the neck, but they tend to look a little silly.
Not being a hat wearer (because as a 7 1/8 I tend to have the opposite problem of yourself in finding small enough hats that fit), I always put on mineral sunscreen on all exposed parts of my body, especially face and hands regardless. Even a wide brimmed hat can't protect against reflected rays.
“There are ballcaps with flaps to cover the ears and back of the neck, but they tend to look a little silly.”
I remember I had a military-issue ballcap that was like that. Bought at the PX on then-Fort Lewis, probably by my Grandfather (retired USAF – ah, it might have been McChord AFB!) Did look weird, and it also popped off my head if I looked up, as the back flap hit my shoulders, sending the bill down over my eyes. But it did help with some things, especially in the winter.
“Even a wide brimmed hat can't protect against reflected rays.” Particularly if you’re around water (fishing in a boat, etc.)
I don't know if it's true or not, but I've read that a hat with a dark green under brim helps with reflected rays. I know that back when they were an awesome company, Tilley made them for boating.
Yeah, I'm pretty much willing to wear just about any ugly hat to keep the sun off, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to wear one of those ball caps with flaps! 😎
I'm surprised you have trouble finding things in 7 1/8. I'm somewhere between that and 7 1/4.
MWPGM Bailey, at about the age of 3, I had two cowboy hats. Actually, I had two full sets of cowboy clothing, including the pistol belts and sixguns. One set I constantly wore, and in the other set I dressed up "Carney" (the large newel post at the bottom of the wooden stairway up to the 2nd floor of my grandmother's house). There were numerous gun battles daily.
I don't recall having a cowboy hat that young, but certainly do remember having the boots and the six shooter cap guns! I had one of those odd little ties like Colonel Sanders wore in the KFC ads too.
“I’ve suggested he try the waxed canvas hats from Filson worn by generations of loggers here where we live. I’ve suggested that he try a good felt cowboy hat. I’ve suggested that he try an Effanem Crusher hat as worn by hunters here since time immemorial. I’ve even suggested that he try a wool hat from Ireland or two, either Walking or Flat style.”
Okay. Cowboy hat – I have a couple, and I’ve worn them, only to get laughed out of the room by our Past Grand Secretary. But others say it works, and indeed, the last time I presided over Centralia Lodge (as you recall) I wore one.
Effanem Crusher hat – As you well know, I have a couple of them, one in Brown and at least one in red. And I wore it to the Logger’s degree. Problem is it’s too small, and I look like the logger version of Gilligan on “Gilligan’s Island.”
Irish Walking hat – my Grandfather had one, and I tried it on. My Brother said it makes me look like an Old Bastard, take it off. I looked in the mirror, and he was right. I hadn’t worn one since. Flat hat? I love them, but so many wear one, it’s almost as common as the baseball cap. And with my big, bald, fat head, when I do wear one, I look like Jamie Hyneman, the Mythbuster. Loved the show, but I’m not the Mythbuster… well, for the longest time, the idea of Cameron wearing a ballcap was a myth, and that was busted… 🤔
Re Cowboy:
You can't trust the opinion of the Past GS. He sets his own cowboy hat down on the brim instead of the crown, something no self respecting cowboy hat wearer would ever do!
Re Crusher:
Bigger one?
Re Irish Walker:
You are an old bastard! Just like me!
When wearing the Irish walking hat did you have any desire to start merging your ch/sh's and telling Indy to "stop being ridiculous"?
Yeah! Connery's a legend!
Yep!
When I wear my Irish Walking Hat I have to spend all of my time trying to explain to my granddaughter why I look cool, and not like a dork in it! 😎
"He sets his own cowboy hat down on the brim instead of the crown, something no self respecting cowboy hat wearer would ever do!"
That's what I learned from a handful of people as a kid. putting gravity on the brim misshapes it, and the Crown is meant to be handled in such a manner. Okay, then I learned correctly as a kid.
That's it exactly. A cowboy hat sitting on its brim will eventually ruin the brim. They need to be crown down if not on a rack or something.
There is nothing wrong with letting the little boy in us come out now and again. It helps keep us young and can give us a different perspective on grown up life. 🧢
I presume that if you were to talk with Mrs. Bailey she would declare that I'm already childish enough! 🤣
MWB Bailey, I think perhaps that hat was just calling out to you, given the amount of consternation and will you clearly exerted to avoid this temptation.
I find when the universe speaks it is often best not to argue. Besides, who are we to deny the will of things above our understanding... 😉
Now to find some more wild patterned shirts that match with my flavor of fun... 🤣
Some kind of evil consumerist devil certainly had me under attack. I fought her off as long as I could.
Now I've had to spend hours getting the brim bent just right, and I fear I still have a bit more work to do in order to find that perfection.
Stop monkeying with the brim. They're perfect...just the way they are!
No, no, no, one can not leave the brim of a ball cap flat as a pancake if one is to be a genuine hick. Those super flat brims are for those urban weirdos, who vote for commies. Out here in 'Merica we curve the brim.
🍿👀
Remember MWB... Perfection is to be ever aspired, yet never attained! Therefore I think it is safe to assume this is a lifelong journey and burden you will have to learn to willingly bear. I have faith that you are more than up to the task! 🚂🧢
Indeed. I'll continue working to overcome these terrible temptations. 😎
"Hats off" to Bro. Chad for tipping me off on this post. I didn't know about it until he mentioned the name drop last night. That was a close one, Bro. Bailey, but once again, the real hats win out!
I take my obligations seriously Brother, in your presence and your absence! 😉
It's good that you take care of our little buddy! 😂🤠🤣
Ouch...
I think that the fundamental key to leading a good life is making the reading of all of CMBailey's nonsense one's top daily priority. I can't imagine anything else that could ever be more important.
🤣
As I've mentioned several times, I'm not much of a hat person. I never think they really look that good one me. And in the military, whenever you were outside you better have a hat on. At least in the Air Force we were allowed to wear baseball caps with our unit designation instead of the regulation caps we were issued.
But after retiring from the military, I stopped wearing hats pretty much altogether. It wasn't until I joined Masonry that I had to consider investing in a hat to wear. And it started with a porkpie hat ala Heisenberg, and has devolved into a small collection of different hats in different styles. But not one would be a ball cap.
On July 19th I'll be joining a group of brothers from a neighboring lodge to attend a Tacoma Rainiers baseball game, and part of the package is a free R baseball cap. So it will be part of the collection, although I'm not a fan of the beer. My dad was a die hard Olympia fan, he called Rainier beer "cat piss". He was crushed when Oly went bankrupt and taken over by Pabst. Almost impossible to find Oly in these parts, if at all. But in solidarity with my dad (I even named my dog Oly when I was a teen) I've never taken a single sip of Rainier. So, I'll probably wear that hat at the game, and that's about it.
“…I'll be joining a group of brothers from a neighboring lodge to attend a Tacoma Rainiers baseball game, and part of the package is a free R baseball cap. So it will be part of the collection…” Harmony Lodge No. 18 did that last year, and I tagged along with them. Same here, it’s part of my collection, as it doesn’t fit my fat head. I got a second one for my uncle, who’s a big baseball fan.
“…he called Rainier beer "cat piss".” Now, I never have ingested cat urine, but I’ve cleaned my share of litter boxes over the years… okay, Rainier isn’t THAT bad, and I will admit it’s distinctive, but compared to most beers, it IS cat piss.
“I've never taken a single sip of Rainier.”
Good. Don’t.
If you boys are thinking about the worst of the worst, better not forget Hamm's animal beer.
At least the commercials growing up were instant classics and genius marketing...https://www.rainierbeermovie.com/
Yep, those were great commercials!
I love me some of that fine Rainier beer! Or at least I did when it was made locally. Liked Olympia too. Of course I've never had what one would consider to be good taste in beer. Currently I've decided that I'm a Coors man, because of the squat shaped bottles they are using now. Reminds me of my beloved Rhinelander from those days when I was too young to legally drink!
And, of course, Clayton wins… again… 🧢😎😁 🧢
But, not entirely! I’m only halfway there. Next step is to get you into a stocking cap.
This is doable – maybe we can get you to be a Santa by the end of the year… 🎅 keeping in mind that our highly revered Santa Claus wore a stocking cap.
Now you're turning me against poor ol' Santa!
I guess I'll have to sit with a shotgun in front of the fireplace this upcoming Christmas Eve, take the dude out when he slides down the chimney! 🤠
Awww...come on, maybe a nice stocking cap, with a little poof ball on top?
I think Clayton has turned me into a Krampus guy now.
Poof ball's important. Glenn's right.
Poof Balls are only appropriate atop a Glengarry hat. Lucky for me, I've got one of those kicking around somewhere.
You mean a "toorie." Around here it's a Pom-pon. AKA Cheerleaders.
I wear no hats, but there's nothing obvious about the beanie cap and baseball cap that make them only for children. They are practical (to keep one's head warm or to keep the sun from one's eyes) while minimalist in their form (for when you don't need a whole brim). Baseball caps originated from a sport played by adult men, and beanies seem to have always been around for cold weather (being smaller forms of the longer caps with poof balls on the end).
Ah, the same arguments my friend Clayton makes. I sense a possible conspiracy here! 🤠
Alas though, please know that the post is intended to be a wee bit tongue and cheek.
To be fair, if I ever get chosen to be in the East, I will absolutely rock the top hat.
Excellent!
I've got a pretty good Top Hat story to share.
My home Lodge still possesses our very first Master's Top Hat. He was a pretty important guy locally, so they have preserved it under glass. Once a year it comes out for the Installation, when the new Master wears it.
That's all to the good, except for the fact that our first WM had what must be the world's smallest head. So in actuality, during the Installation the new WM must balance this tiny top hat atop his head, instead of actually wearing it!
Sort of like the tiny "jaunty little hats" that women may wear off to the side?
Exactly!
On the more serious note you post this, there are two key downfalls of this hat:
One, they don't work well if your head shape is too oblong (oval) like mine. or if your hat size is over 7 3/8. As such, I have a lot of these hats, but few actually fit correctly.
Also, the shape of the hat doesn't protect the ears from UV rays. I know of many people who have developed skin cancers because of that. Particularly on the left ear (truck drivers, as that ear is more exposed to the sun than the right ear.) In two cases, the cancer developed into a malignant melanoma. Both of these two survived due to early detection (I helped with one of them, quite an honor to have helped save someone's life.) So if you're in the sun and are wearing a ballcap, make sure to put sunscreen on your ears.
Now of course hats are made to accommodate the 'Long Oval' shape, and are marked as such in the sizing. All my western hats are 'Long Oval.' But, you are right, the larger size you need can be hard to find.
As long as we are on a serious note, the cancer risk you mention is why I try (although they can be a pain in the ass) to wear only hats with large full brims. As you know, my skin is very fair, and it doesn't tan. I'm either (as I heard my mother's handyman in Mexico say once) so white that I'm blue, or badly sunburned, there is nothing in the middle. My grandfather was the same way, and always wore ball caps to keep the sun out of his eyes. That did nothing for cancer prevention, and I watched for at least a couple of decades while doctors kept carving big chunks of skin off his head.
So yeah, cancer is a serious concern, and a large full brimmed hat can do a lot to help prevent it.
There are ballcaps with flaps to cover the ears and back of the neck, but they tend to look a little silly.
Not being a hat wearer (because as a 7 1/8 I tend to have the opposite problem of yourself in finding small enough hats that fit), I always put on mineral sunscreen on all exposed parts of my body, especially face and hands regardless. Even a wide brimmed hat can't protect against reflected rays.
“There are ballcaps with flaps to cover the ears and back of the neck, but they tend to look a little silly.”
I remember I had a military-issue ballcap that was like that. Bought at the PX on then-Fort Lewis, probably by my Grandfather (retired USAF – ah, it might have been McChord AFB!) Did look weird, and it also popped off my head if I looked up, as the back flap hit my shoulders, sending the bill down over my eyes. But it did help with some things, especially in the winter.
“Even a wide brimmed hat can't protect against reflected rays.” Particularly if you’re around water (fishing in a boat, etc.)
I don't know if it's true or not, but I've read that a hat with a dark green under brim helps with reflected rays. I know that back when they were an awesome company, Tilley made them for boating.
Yeah, I'm pretty much willing to wear just about any ugly hat to keep the sun off, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to wear one of those ball caps with flaps! 😎
I'm surprised you have trouble finding things in 7 1/8. I'm somewhere between that and 7 1/4.
It's harder to find fancy hats in that size I guess, at least off the shelf. I have trouble finding places that stock anything smaller than "medium".
MWPGM Bailey, at about the age of 3, I had two cowboy hats. Actually, I had two full sets of cowboy clothing, including the pistol belts and sixguns. One set I constantly wore, and in the other set I dressed up "Carney" (the large newel post at the bottom of the wooden stairway up to the 2nd floor of my grandmother's house). There were numerous gun battles daily.
I don't recall having a cowboy hat that young, but certainly do remember having the boots and the six shooter cap guns! I had one of those odd little ties like Colonel Sanders wore in the KFC ads too.
Great times goin' after the bad guys!