Melania's Hat

Forget the Inauguration, what about that hat?

Undoubtedly the automobile killed the proper hat. Because there is nothing suitable to do with the hat once one is inside the car.

Don’t be fooled by Hollywood trickery when watching shows like Yellowstone or Landman, in real life, one can’t drive wearing a proper hat without it bouncing off the headrest.

So, the automobile killed the hat.

Then it is believed that President Kennedy put the final nail in the hat’s coffin when he broke with tradition and didn’t wear a hat to his Inauguration.

We’ve been stuck with baseball caps, trucker hats, snap-backs (whatever you want to call them) ever since. Little boy hats, if we are honest with themselves.

--Don’t yell at me, I’ve got a closet of the damn things too, and have worn them all my life. But, I’ve got to tell you the truth, these things aren’t for adults.--

But then, like a lightning bolt…

Melania.

Public Domain DoD photo taken by Specialist 1st Class Vanessa White - Courtesy Wikimedia Commons.

Now that’s a proper hat! Awesome!

And it hides the eyes.

A couple of evenings prior to the Inauguration, Melinda and I, our youngest daughter and her longtime girlfriend went out to one of our favorite places for dinner and live music.

I wore a nice Resistol cowboy hat that I’m quite fond of. A hat that really hides the eyes when I wear it correctly. But, I pushed it back just a bit to expose my eyes. I didn’t want the kids to think I was contemplating evil while sipping my whiskey and listening to the music.

But maybe, just maybe, Melania has made hiding the eyes behind a large downslope brim a touch more proper.

We would be wrong, I think, if we underestimated the power that choices like what one wears to an Inauguration have. As mentioned above, it is widely claimed that JFK helped end the proper hat by not wearing one to his Inauguration. I’ve also read claims that his wife brought the pillbox hat back to popularity by wearing hers at that same Inauguration.

If we are lucky, perhaps we will see more proper hats out in the concrete jungles that surround us. With big brims, even downslope big brims that hide the eyes. Fun stuff!

Hats are, after all, one of the most eye catching ways for us to demonstrate our own unique personality.

Hoping to not sound like one of those ‘Public Health’ lunatics, I must also say that those wide brims are also key to prevention of skin cancer. So they are eminently practical as well.

Following the Inauguration, I did read a fair amount of commentary about Melania’s hat. People like me blathering on about their completely uninformed ideas about why she may have chosen it.

One point I’ve read does I think need to be addressed.

That of etiquette.

I’ve read criticism that she did not remove her had when inside the Capitol Building.

That criticism is in error.

Ladies hats and mens hats are both subject to different standards of etiquette. Gender lines may be disappearing in our society, but when it comes to hats, they are still with us.

It is always acceptable for a woman to wear a dress hat, except if it happens to be blocking someone’s view. It need not come off for weddings, funerals, in a home, or anywhere else.

Men however are expected to remove their hats when in a private indoor space.

So, Melania broke no rule of etiquette by leaving her hat on while she was inside the Capitol Building.

But, even if she were to be judged by the standard for men, she would not have violated any rule of etiquette, because she was not in a private space, rather the Inaugural events took place in areas of the building normally considered to be public spaces.

Just as I was good to wear my hat while we ate dinner the other evening, because we were in a bar. Had we been in a restaurant etiquette would have called for me to remove it, but not in a bar.

And, frankly, despite my lifetime aversion to seeing men wearing hats inside restaurants, I’m slowly coming around to the idea that this old etiquette rule should be allowed to pass into history.

If restaurants want to provide safe storage for hats while their customers eat, then the rule makes sense. If they don’t then should the responsibility really fall upon the patron? I’m beginning to think not. And I wonder why provision for safe hat storage. seems completely standard in restaurants throughout Mexico, but is virtually unheard of here in the U.S.

We can do better, restaurant folks! Give me a little hat tree!